Have you ever really thought about death? Not necessarily the death of others, such as a loved one, but your own loss...the moment where you will one day cease to exist? Have you ever really thought about your own death?
What will you die from? Who will you be at that time? Where were you in your life? Who will be there beside you? But more importantly, what will you regret? What will you look back on and cherish, and what will you look back on with a heavy heart?
These questions have been haunting the crevices of my mind for the past few weeks. I find myself pondering the dark questions surrounding death, uncertain whether they stem from the beginnings of a new year or deeper internal fears just now beginning to surface. When will God take the very breath he gave me and make it be my very last? Who will I leave behind and who would've left before me? Will my loved ones be alright when I'm gone? Will I regret what I've done, who I've been? Or, will I live my life in a way that has prepared me for that very moment where I will leave this world and never come back?
All of this has somehow motivated me to look back and learn from yesterday, cherish today, and hope for a tomorrow.
Perhaps this is just a normal part of growing up. Perhaps this is a normal thought process that comes with maturity, understanding, and a newly discovered passion for life. Perhaps it's a fear for that passion, that rare understanding, and that timely maturity to disappear. Perhaps that fear can lead to motivation.
I have never felt the motivation to live my life right, to live with passion or to live my life to the fullest than I do today. I don't know the origin of this motivation; I'm unsure when this fear began; I'm unaware of the strength of my determination. But, I thank God that I have it.
Live for today. Live for the moment. Take things day by day--and try not look back. And if you can do that and live a life with few regrets...well, death isn't that scary anymore, is it?
Here's to life. Live yours the way it was meant to be lived.
