Life

Have you ever really thought about death? Not necessarily the death of others, such as a loved one, but your own loss...the moment where you will one day cease to exist? Have you ever really thought about your own death?

What will you die from? Who will you be at that time? Where were you in your life? Who will be there beside you? But more importantly, what will you regret? What will you look back on and cherish, and what will you look back on with a heavy heart?

These questions have been haunting the crevices of my mind for the past few weeks. I find myself pondering the dark questions surrounding death, uncertain whether they stem from the beginnings of a new year or deeper internal fears just now beginning to surface. When will God take the very breath he gave me and make it be my very last? Who will I leave behind and who would've left before me? Will my loved ones be alright when I'm gone? Will I regret what I've done, who I've been? Or, will I live my life in a way that has prepared me for that very moment where I will leave this world and never come back?

All of this has somehow motivated me to look back and learn from yesterday, cherish today, and hope for a tomorrow.

Perhaps this is just a normal part of growing up. Perhaps this is a normal thought process that comes with maturity, understanding, and a newly discovered passion for life. Perhaps it's a fear for that passion, that rare understanding, and that timely maturity to disappear. Perhaps that fear can lead to motivation.

I have never felt the motivation to live my life right, to live with passion or to live my life to the fullest than I do today. I don't know the origin of this motivation; I'm unsure when this fear began; I'm unaware of the strength of my determination. But, I thank God that I have it.

Live for today. Live for the moment. Take things day by day--and try not look back. And if you can do that and live a life with few regrets...well, death isn't that scary anymore, is it?

Here's to life. Live yours the way it was meant to be lived.

To the year I found my pen...goodbye to 2010.

Well, this has been quite a year. I can't help but smirk when I think about how far I've come, who I became, and what I've learned in the past 12 months. So much has happened, so much has changed...but more importantly, I've changed. Navigating through troubled waters, I reached the calming sea's peaceful rainbow, and for that alone, I will forever be thankful for the year 2010.

I can honestly say that I've grown tremendously in the last year alone, becoming a stronger, wiser, more responsible adult finding her way in this crazy thing we call life. My year, unlike any other, can be traced and understood through my writing. For it shows the ups and downs of my life, discovering moments of both discouragement and inspiration, glorifying the Lord while cursing my gift, and learning who am I and who I'm becoming each and everyday.

And as I reflect on the past year, I become more and more thankful for the heavenly-sent angels that guided me through it all. For if it wasn't for the father's light shining brightly within some of his most precious children, I would have never been able to find my way through the dark.

To the year I found pen...goodbye to 2010.

Here's to 2011...may it feel just like heaven.

The Missing Chalice

** This poem will only be funny to those who understand the background story...you know who you are.

Once upon a midnight clear,
Two sweet girls with hearts of gold,
And confidence assured with little fear
Performed a task once foretold.
With silver coins and a box of magic
That connected them with distant lands
They ordered a lovely “Emmaus” chalice.
So beautiful; so stunning; so grand.
Yet, the high priest upon the throne
Tormented the girls for their precious gift,
And hid the chalice to a place unknown
Claiming the jewel for him was unfit.
And now this chalice haunts the land,
Seeking to stay in the high priest’s hands.

As I Lay

In the light of the glimmering moon,
Lying beneath the stars,
I find my heart lost within
The art of who you are.
And lying beneath the heavens,
I gaze up at the sky,
But the sky is not as beautiful
As the beauty in your eyes.
For all the wonders of the world,
Could never compare with thee,
Your greatness lies within your soul,
Your love a mysterious masterpiece.
So as I lay beneath the stars,
And as I lay next to you,
I lie with a wonder of the universe,
I lie with God's beautiful truth.

Love me.

Love me as the bright side of the moon,
Always there and always bright.
And when the world can not see its love,
Heaven will still see the dark moon's light.
A soothing comfort; a peaceful reminder,
Watching me high up in the sky,
For when the darkness glazes over my life,
The moon's sad smile will still shine.

Love me as a shooting star,
And make all my wishes come true.
Bring me comfort, allow me to dream,
And guide my dreams back to the you.
As glimmering embers begin to ignite,
The ardent fire of burning passion,
Lights up the darkness and guides me through,
The dark--with love and deep compassion.

Love me as a rocket ship,
Aiming high above the distant stars.
A lively spirit reaching marvels,
Making history, traveling afar.
Discovering miracles at new heights,
Brings the rocket ship back home.
But the astounding wonders of the universe,
Will be reminisced down below.

Love me as our Heavenly Father,
The most powerful being of all.
For his love created: the heavens,
The rocket ship, the moon, and the stars.
And His love brought his son to Earth,
And His love tends to you now.
So love me as my Heavenly Father,
For our Father has taught you how.


----For "Creepy"