Your Childish Ways; Your Prideful Disdain

Dear Lord, my Father: I can't comprehend,
The soul that schemes a master facade
Of prideful disdain towards an innocent "friend,"
Ignorantly claimed to be an "act" of God.
Attacked and belittled with false accusations,
My heart aches and tears itself into shreds.
Destroyed by a child's senseless assumptions,
My once pure thoughts are now stained red.
And within this hour of darkness I pray,
As I lie battered, beaten and bruised,
For you to save me from the issue conveyed,
By the selfish wrath of the morally confused.
Yet alas, they insist you stand behind them with pride,
And I fear that's where your alliance truly lies.

The End

The sands of time have shifted as time has now run short.
The blooming rose petals have fallen peacefully upon the floor.
The rhythm of the beating drum has failed to stay in pace.
The lines of stress and worry have ceased upon your face.
The howling wolf's cry no longer comforts the moon.
The whispering wind's last breath has died much too soon.
The comforting morning sunlight refuses to rise.
The beauty of the stars have burnt out within the sky.
And as the world around you continues to fall apart,
You discover the problem lies within your dying heart.

Life

Have you ever really thought about death? Not necessarily the death of others, such as a loved one, but your own loss...the moment where you will one day cease to exist? Have you ever really thought about your own death?

What will you die from? Who will you be at that time? Where were you in your life? Who will be there beside you? But more importantly, what will you regret? What will you look back on and cherish, and what will you look back on with a heavy heart?

These questions have been haunting the crevices of my mind for the past few weeks. I find myself pondering the dark questions surrounding death, uncertain whether they stem from the beginnings of a new year or deeper internal fears just now beginning to surface. When will God take the very breath he gave me and make it be my very last? Who will I leave behind and who would've left before me? Will my loved ones be alright when I'm gone? Will I regret what I've done, who I've been? Or, will I live my life in a way that has prepared me for that very moment where I will leave this world and never come back?

All of this has somehow motivated me to look back and learn from yesterday, cherish today, and hope for a tomorrow.

Perhaps this is just a normal part of growing up. Perhaps this is a normal thought process that comes with maturity, understanding, and a newly discovered passion for life. Perhaps it's a fear for that passion, that rare understanding, and that timely maturity to disappear. Perhaps that fear can lead to motivation.

I have never felt the motivation to live my life right, to live with passion or to live my life to the fullest than I do today. I don't know the origin of this motivation; I'm unsure when this fear began; I'm unaware of the strength of my determination. But, I thank God that I have it.

Live for today. Live for the moment. Take things day by day--and try not look back. And if you can do that and live a life with few regrets...well, death isn't that scary anymore, is it?

Here's to life. Live yours the way it was meant to be lived.

To the year I found my pen...goodbye to 2010.

Well, this has been quite a year. I can't help but smirk when I think about how far I've come, who I became, and what I've learned in the past 12 months. So much has happened, so much has changed...but more importantly, I've changed. Navigating through troubled waters, I reached the calming sea's peaceful rainbow, and for that alone, I will forever be thankful for the year 2010.

I can honestly say that I've grown tremendously in the last year alone, becoming a stronger, wiser, more responsible adult finding her way in this crazy thing we call life. My year, unlike any other, can be traced and understood through my writing. For it shows the ups and downs of my life, discovering moments of both discouragement and inspiration, glorifying the Lord while cursing my gift, and learning who am I and who I'm becoming each and everyday.

And as I reflect on the past year, I become more and more thankful for the heavenly-sent angels that guided me through it all. For if it wasn't for the father's light shining brightly within some of his most precious children, I would have never been able to find my way through the dark.

To the year I found pen...goodbye to 2010.

Here's to 2011...may it feel just like heaven.

The Missing Chalice

** This poem will only be funny to those who understand the background story...you know who you are.

Once upon a midnight clear,
Two sweet girls with hearts of gold,
And confidence assured with little fear
Performed a task once foretold.
With silver coins and a box of magic
That connected them with distant lands
They ordered a lovely “Emmaus” chalice.
So beautiful; so stunning; so grand.
Yet, the high priest upon the throne
Tormented the girls for their precious gift,
And hid the chalice to a place unknown
Claiming the jewel for him was unfit.
And now this chalice haunts the land,
Seeking to stay in the high priest’s hands.