Time for Twilight to fade into Darkness

I have read the Twilight series, watched both installments of the movie franchise, and have listened to every obsessed fan chant about how they dream of falling into a whirlwind romance with either a vampire or werewolf.

Having said that, I can subjectively and objectively state that the Twilight books and movies bite...vampire pun intended.

For all you Twihard fans out there who are getting ready to hunt me down like werewolves hunt vampires, or like the Volturi search for the Cullens, give me a chance to explain my reasoning, just like I gave the Twilight franchise a chance.

Let us start with the books, shall we? I have no authority or credibility to dishonor someone's writing, as getting one's work published is an accomplishment in and of itself. However, Stephanie Meyer's books are filled with juvenile writing, unsophisticated language and undeveloped ideas. Yet, she writes the series this way for a reason----TWILIGHT IS MADE FOR ADOLESCENTS!

Sorry to all you 40-year old women out there wearing "Team Edward" shirts, but the books are made for 13-year old screaming girls who are falling in love with the idea of falling in love, but have yet to experience it. If you are over the age of 15 and are in love with the series, I seriously question your choice of reading and comprehension abilities. What ever happened to the classics?...to beautiful literature?...to the days of William Shakespeare and Jane Austen?...to the literature that brought forth new thinking and changed the world?...to prose so sweet, so pure, that the Holy Spirit must have overcame the author's pen to write such heavenly words fit for angels? Twilight CAN NOT and WILL NEVER be considered pure literature.

Now, on to the movies. I'm not really sure what everyone else saw in the theatres when they said "New Moon WAS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES I'VE SEEN!", but all I saw was a cheesy film with bad acting and even worse cinematography. New Moon seemed to drag on forever, and missed the element of a good movie--something called a plot. If any of you Twihards out there even noticed, there is NO PLOT FOR NEW MOON! Even if you scramble together a poorly developed plot, it will only be a pathetic excuse for a waste of 2 hours worth of film.

And I'm sorry, but Kristin Stewart and Rob Pattinson had absolutely NO chemistry onscreen. Argue whichever way you want, but this is a fact not an opinion. Every scene with them together was awkward and unappealing, and if you try to argue against this by saying, "You dummy, you don't know what you're talking about! It's SUPPOSED to be that way because of the book!" HAA! No you adolescent pathetic immature imbecile, they're just both really bad actors.

I can go on and on with this forever, but regardless, you Twihard fans won't win. I'm sorry for being so harsh, but I'm getting pretty fed up with this New Moon/Twilight craziness. There are more important things in life, REAL things in life to mind yourself with rather than fantasize about werewolves and vampires.


Really people, grow up and pick up a REAL book.

I Got a Feelin'

The Summer sunshine has faded, and Fall is quickly fallin' into a Winter Wonderland.

During this time of year, we all begin worrying about one thing--it's the one thing on our minds as the temperature drops and the nights get longer. The thing we're frightened about, warned constantly, and empathize with anyone unfortunate enough to feel its wrath.

I Got a Feelin'....and that feelin' is being sick.

That's right people. I have caught my first cold of the season, despite my efforts to eat healthy, wash my hands, and keep good ole' Purel hand sanitizer handy at all times.

Being sick is inevitable, but you just forget how much you hate it until you feel the symptoms catch up with you. Find relief in knowing that I don't have H1N1, but rather just the common cold. You know the symptoms: a sore throat that makes you feel like you could breathe out fire, and a runny nose that uses up at least 3 full boxes of tissues.

There's really nothing more I can do at this point but to take medicine, drink lots of fluids, and watch re-runs of shows I'm too old to remember over and over again until I start feeling better. But then again, this sick girl has a lot of studying to do...so maybe this whole sick thing will be semi-productive, if I didn't feel like I wanted to sleep all day.

Until' next time folks, just remember that it's never too late to be happy, so go out and live your life....even if you are sick.

My First Blog...woo hoo!

Well hello ladies and gentlemen. Most likely if you're reading this you know who I am....and if you're reading this and have NO CLUE who this is, well, I'll guess we'll keep that a mystery for you.

I must admit that this is my first blog, although I'm kind of excited to become a part of the so-called Online Blogger Group. I can't wait to share with you the HILARIOUS stories of my life, because sometimes I really do think God has a sense of humor.

So, where to begin?

As most of you know, (unless you're an Internet Creeper who stumbled upon this blog and have NO idea who the hell I am) I'm a Journalism Major. WELL, today was the first day we had the opportunity to record ourselves as news anchors in a real live studio with lights, cameras and all that jazz. It was quite an, uhh, interesting experience.

First off, with my luck, I get lost on my way there when I was already late. It's the classic scenario: You have an important meeting/class/event to go to and you're late because you forget that there's this thing called "traffic," whatever the hell that is, and find to your astonishment you were too stupid to actually look up where the damn building was, so you walk around not knowing where to go.

So of course, I couldn't find the classroom at Grossmont College that I'm supposed to go to. Instead, I end up mindlessly walking around an empty building for about 5 minutes, when I'm already 10 minutes late, in heels and a News Anchor appropriate outfit looking for this newsroom. I find it only when a half naked girl....and yes, I do mean a slut, comes out of a random hidden door and shrieks "THERE YOU ARE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!" Don't be frightened boys and girls, because I do happen to know this half naked girl who was yelling at me in the hallway of a forbidden building with my ugly ass outfit looking like a deer caught in headlights. So what would any girl do in this situation? Follow her of course....

I enter this creepy room with monitors everywhere and a news set with cameras, and all of a sudden a frumpy middle-aged man who doesn't look like he actually has a life goes, "ARE YOU JENNIFER?" Uh, why yes I am...but I'm only a foot away and you don't need to yell at me like I'm 5 years old and 2500 miles away. After discovering he was the director of our so-called Newsroom, my eyes couldn't help themselves from rolling around in my head as I sat waiting for his "polite" instructions.

When its finally time for us to start filming, I listen to my "friendly" director go around screaming...uh, I mean nicely asking....to get into positions. He then informs me to sit down at the news desk and prepare to perform a mic test. Like a girl who wants an A in my class and impress everyone with my journalistic integrity for putting up with this guy, I sit at the desk waiting for this so-called mic test. All of a sudden, this tall dangly guy with facial piercings holding a wireless mic runs over to me with an unusually awkward and quite frightening smile and goes....."I need to put this down your shirt." Uhhh...............NO THANK YOU! First off, your piercings need to take a good 10 steps back before I get the crazy psycho director guy to come over and "politely" escort you to the parking lot so I can beat your ass. But of course, like the lady that I am, I grab his hand while he goes in for the kill and say, "It's ok I think I can handle it from here." It's times like this I wish I had manners like a disgraceful hoe and kick him where the sun don't shine and make a scene in a professional environment....maybe I should ask my slutty creepy "THERE YOU ARE" co-anchor for lessons???

The news show went pretty well though, except for the fact that one of the director's students messed up the film and we had to re-shoot it all over again. Boy was that a tense situation. I sure do feel bad for the director's wife who has to put up with him everyday...you know, if he actually HAS a wife or a girlfriend who can stand him for more than 2 seconds in their entire lifetime. Unless of course he likes boys...then that's a totally different story.

I think the only productive thing about this experience was that the student who actually screwed up the film was pretty damn hot, and the entire time the psycho director yelled at him he was winking at me....it re-assured me that I was a damn good news anchor even though I only stumbled about 234823948 times on a news story about a shoplifter being shot over Spam and chocolate chip cookies. And no I'm not joking, and yes I really did have to tell that story.

But I do wonder what the psycho director would've done if the pierced guy ever tried to put the mic down his shirt....hmmmm......

Well, until next time! :)