Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Sea of Sorrows

And by each breath and with each sigh
I feel the water and pain settling in,
And slowly falling, I look up to the sky
Admitting defeat; wanting to win.
Drowning in the Sea of Sorrows,
Sinking deeper and deeper in the large abyss
Helplessly fighting, wanting a "tomorrow"
Unable to swim, unable to persist.
Damn my enemies for condemning me here,
Executing misery to bring me my death.
My reality becomes my deepest fear,
That the sea will take my one and only breath.
If only there was a way to get out of this sea,
But alas, the person that threw me was me.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Lost

I think I'm going to run away
To a place where no one can find me.
New faces, a new life, a new day
And this way I'll get to live, get to be
Deep down inside who I really am.
They see my label, and I'm so much more.
Because they just don't seem to understand
Who I am, my inner core.
So I'll run away, as fast as I can go
It doesn't matter how, doesn't matter where
And when I'm gone, I hope they'll know
The pain was mine, it was never theirs.
So I run faster and faster each day
Looking forward hoping for the best
Trying to find out my very own way
Seeking an adventure, seeing it as a test.
But somewhere along this dangerous road
I seemed to have lost track of the light
I sit in the dark in the vast unknown
Feeling lost and empty unable to fight.

I didn't mean to hurt them, they had to have known
I wasn't thinking clearly, it was all a bunch of lies.
I didn't mean to leave them, I just had to go.
I couldn't bear it no longer, it made me want to cry.
But their pain still lingers within me here
Although I've run, I'm now long gone
Their worries, their guilt, their faces, their fears
Ring constant within me as a sad, sad song.
I ran away forever, only looking ahead,
I ran away from there, trying to find refuge
I ran away, I remember what I said
I ran away from there with nothing to run to.
I look back and see the damage I left behind me,
Questioning why I never stayed to fight
Realizing now I fled and chose defeat.
I just want one more chance to try and make it right.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Breath of My Heart

(My SDSU Petition)

Passionless words are dead, because passion brings words to life. William Wordsworth said, “Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart,” as the heart is the key to the soul and writing its sole escape. Our hearts are filled with one of our most precious treasures, our passion; it opens up through our writing and breathes life into words revealing the depths of our souls.

I will not attempt to excuse my discrepancies, as there is no excuse—but a few grammatical errors do not limit my writing capabilities. Wordsworth’s choice of the word “breathings” may be considered grammatically incorrect, though no one would question his diction. It is not the grammar that makes Wordsworth’s writing good, but the passionate words that make them masterpieces.

My heart beats from the power of persistence and its key is my pen. Journalistic strength is a journey, reaching those unable to discover the truth and fueled by constant determination. It is a journey I choose to pursue, revealing the truth to those who cannot find it themselves. This is my passion, my heart’s greatest treasure. This is the breath of my life.

Limbo

Life is a journey--a journey we all must travel. At some points, the road is smooth and easily accessible; but at other points, the path is troublesome and often times discouraging. It's at these points on our path that define us....these moments are our defining moments.

I'm currently going through a troubling time in my life, uncertain of what my future holds for me and not knowing which way to turn. I find myself doubting who I am and where my life's journey will take me. A good friend of mine told me that these moments, moments where we fall and were discouragement enters in our hearts are the times that define us. He said, "this will be your defining moment if you let it...otherwise it will just be a bump in the road."

I'm currently waiting for SDSU to answer my petition and inform me whether or not they'll admit me as a Journalism major.

God, you sure do have a sense of humor. But it's times like this I trust that you know where my journey's end will take me, even if I can't see it.