Fishy Business

I have a friend who occasionally likes to call me a "shark" because of the blunt, yet truthful, comments I tend to make. Well, if I am a shark, then that would explain why I can smell fish around me when they screw up...

And today, I smell something fishy.

So, please allow the blunt shark to give you "sneaky" individuals some sound advice so that your fishy smell can sneak off my radar:

1. Learn how to swim...correctly: If you're going to lie to me, or to anyone else for that matter, at least lie right. When you get caught up in your own net of lies, well, lets just say you're not the fastest fish in the sea.
2. Don't fall for the fish bait: There aren't just sharks in the sea, there are fishermen too. So, beware the traps that people set up for you, because when you're too dumb to realize that you've just been caught, you're pretty much dead meat...or dead seafood. That's how my dad caught these. Well, the fishermen caught them; I think he just watched and attempted to help. (Don't tell him I said that.)
3. "Fish are friends, not food:" Unless, of course, your friends rat you out. Then they might as well be food to all the other sharks out there.
4. SWERVE!: Stuck in a pickle? Or in this case, an oyster....? Own up to it and admit your mistake.

Now, there's a very logical way for all you fish to avoid being eaten alive or served on a platter at Red Lobster instead of following these not so helpful tips: BE TRUTHFUL from the very beginning. There's no reason for fishy business if you tell the truth from the start. I promise, it's not that hard, and a lot less painful for everyone. And why would you want to be a fish when you can be a person? Just saying.

Stop trying to swim a fast one on everyone for such stupid reasons. I mean, hey, if you can avoid being a fish, then there's no reason to release the sharks.