Jerusalem, Christmas Trimmings and a New Year

After surviving the end of the world, living through 2012, rejoicing in our Savior's birth and returning to Jerusalem, it's time to take a stab at this neglected blog thing yet again.

So...where do I begin?

At the end of every year, (2009, 2010 and 2011) I tend to look back and reflect on the past lessons I've learned and the new person I've become. Time never ceases to teach me the simple lessons I seem to overlook with ignorance and stubbornness at one point or another. And so, at the end of 2012, there's one thing that time, my fickle friend and bitter enemy, has taught me most of all:

I know absolutely nothing about anything.

I've loved with all that I could and lost more than I wanted; I've grown incredibly close to new friends and created distance between old ones; I've pushed my career further than ever before and lost sight of more important arenas in my life. I've done more and lost more and had no idea what I was doing the whole time. I knew absolutely nothing about my life--and still don't. I just like to pretend that I do.

Point of the story and/or blog post: If you asked me one year ago, "Where is life going to take you this year," I would have failed miserably attempting to answer correctly.

But yet, there is one thing I know for certain: it was one damn good year.

I'm not sure if it's the illuminating Christmas lights over me or the recent Emmaus journey that has me giddy with thanks, but looking back on the year there's not much I would change. Granted, the past year is filled with unfortunate regrets and mistakes that I wish could be retraced, but the journey itself was unlike any other year before.


I had no idea I would find a full-time job that I loved and poured my heart into upon graduation, becoming a workaholic and enjoying it more than anything. I would have never known that I'd begin to doubt the longevity of friendships in my life, especially those I once held so dear, in comparison to the new friends I made who now have a grasp on my heart. I would not have predicted that I'd put people and work before my relationship with God and allow my friendship with Him to falter like I never have before. But most of all, I would have never guessed that I would learn more about myself every single day by merely trying to understanding my past and attempting to fix my vices.

As 2013 begins to sneak in, I find myself unfathomably happy, blindfolded and traveling on an unknown road into the new year. I may trip and fall along the way, I may attempt to shield my eyes from the beauty and strength of the sun's rays (as I tend to do), but the unknown path has never appeared so beautiful, even if I can't see it just yet.

I have no idea what will happen with my career next month let alone the next 12. I have no idea if certain relationships will last or if those people will continue to be a part of my life. I have no idea who I will turn into, what I will learn about myself, the pits of darkness I may fall into or the temptations strategically planted in my path to make me ruin Jerusalem.

Just like every other year, 2013 will have tears of joy and sadness, scraps and cuts from all the falls, loss of breath from the tiredness of it all, and yet, it'll be filled with amazement, awe and speechless wonder of the Creator's remarkable love, presence and care.

That's about all I know; and for the first time in my whole life, I'm beginning to think that this may be the only thing I need to know.

Merry Christmas from my heart to yours. May the new year be filled with lots of light to fill our empty darkness and guide us upon a path that only God knows for certain.